Mother’s Day………………

Mother’s Day always brings a whole bag of mixed emotions for me. Sadness, wonder, guilt, anxiety and joy. And for someone who does not fully understand my journey, I might seem like an ungrateful human being.

Dealing with loss, grieve or trauma has no time limit, there will always be triggers. And this day is the biggest trigger for me even after 5 years. Every year I try to embrace each emotion and to allow each emotion to coexist but it is not always easy to navigate through. I am grateful that my mom is still alive and well, that we are close and speak daily. I am also grateful that the 2nd cycle of IVF was a success and I get to hear funny giggles in the house, but that does not replace the loss……… ectopic pregnancy in 2016 and the embryos which did not stick in 2018.

I spend the day wondering what if, so although the whole word might be celebrating let us remember that are people who might be going through the most … and every feeling is valid …