What’s in the name?

So, when I was welcomed into the Morake & Disene families in December 2015 I was given a name BOTSHELO meaning Life. Which when hubby introspected on the name this is what he thought.

Thabiso,

“You have blown fresh life into all forms of relations and relationships we experience and have experienced. You have given life to the relationship we have with the Almighty Lord. You have breathed life into the bones of our ancestral spirits and you have connected their living spirits in heaven. Your presence has brought life to the broken relationships. Siblings forgot their differences and relatives have come together as one. Customs and cultural practices were brought back to life. Friendships were formed and old friends were found. You have brought life to the ailing spirits and souls. O RE FILE BOTSHELO meaning you have given us life.”

How…… when I could not carry a child to full term😭🤷🏾‍♀️😔?

I felt like a complete failure for a while……………

I just could not make sense with how at one side I could be told that I brought life into a family, when I had failed to bring a life into the world 😭😭😭. I would feel a huge pit in my stomach and tear up whenever someone called me by that name… it became a reminder of the life that was lost.

I was however hopeful and determined that despite being in the thick of it (grief, guilt…) that I would one day live up to that name …….BOTSHELO!!!